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Stay #3

When I walked through the doors of Kunstpodium T for the first time I was existing in a hazy cloud of dissociation. A few days prior I heard a friend had passed away, I hadn't seen him in a while yet after this news I saw him everywhere. 

Dealing with the loss, the guilt, the shame, the grief was unavoidable and necessary. I had to do it alone, yet I felt supported by the art already in the space. The glove farm, the interviews. 

 

I was very thankful for The Sanctuary you created. It was such a beautifully private, creative space. I occupied the space mostly by singing along to my favorite music. It's always something that makes me feel beter.

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 The questions about how to connect with someone who is not physically present hovered around, not only in me but in the material Maxime and Yan left behind.   

 

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What was interesting was that in this state of self-absorbed making and processing I was still influenced by the material already in the space.  

 I was influenced by Maxime's letters, by the atmosphere created by Yan's glove farm. 

It was very hopeful to experience how even when you feel absolutely isolated, you are never detached from the world around you. Never truly secluded from your environment.

Always influenced by and influencing it. 

The emotions we have are 

I only found out that you wrote texts on the back of the photos with you and Tim through Maxime talking about this at our finissage. During my stays, I only looked at these photo's and I didn't touch them. On one hand, I would like to have known what you wrote down, but on the other hand, I'm also ok that you took them with you after we broke down our work and I never found out what's on the back of the photos.

< I didn't know that. For me it was my first instinct to pick them up and then I saw the letters. It felt a little voyeuristic to read them, as they were so personal. But I appreciated the echo of those 'invisible' traces, as I had also made it a point to add some things during my first stay, that you could barely see. I wonder you you saw those?

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